Greenwood Fish Market & Bistro

Greenwood Fish Market & Bistro – 34 Greenwood Avenue Hillcrest Park

This visit I paid Greenwood will be my last. It was not the undecided food quality (dishes were an even mix of hits and misses) or above-average pricing ($141 for 2) that did me in but the singularly abysmal service that ruined my lunch. I find it a real shame that a concept with such potential could be ruined so utterly.

The Seafood Chowder ($8.95) was thinner than traditional but therefore does not leave one too full, a good soup to whet the appetite by any account. The flavorful broth contained a good variety of seafood.

Oysters ($1 each with any main ordered on Tuesdays) were a mix of massive, creamy specimens and skinnier ones that were brimming with mineral flavour. All two dozen save one were so fresh that a dash of hot sauce or a spritz of lemon was not necessary. Tragically, my penultimate oyster was one of the worst things to ever enter my mouth: a bad oyster can only be described as a supremely noxious rotten egg thrown into the sea.

The dressing of the Swordfish Carpaccio ($15.95) brought out the meatiness of a fish usually broiled or grilled to cardboard dryness and flavourlessness. On a bed of crisp greens, this was a lesson in flavour marriage I might try to decipher and replicate.

Nestled in buttery garlic mashed potatoes and crowned with sweet, crunchy vegetables, the beautifully assembled Grilled Salmon ($21.95) was a deception. Overcooking at too gentle a temperature gradient resulted in a tough, dry interior and a lack of crisp sear.

The Pan-fried Ocean Trout ($29.95) outperformed its genetic cousin by a long shot with a good crisp skin and an almost steak-like meatiness. Its subtle richness was well complemented with a sweet and tangy side salad.

I predicted that the Pineapple Cheesecake ($9.95) would have a flavour profile similar to a pina colada with acidity from the pineapple cutting through a cloyingly heavy cake. However, it surprised me as a cross between a light New York Style cheesecake and a pineapple tart as the cooked fruit had lost any acidity and instead lent the dessert a rich caramel.

The Brownie ($8.85) was unremarkable if rather dry until I discovered what appeared to be a bit of charcoal in the cake. This was where the unfortunate turn of events really began, turning a meal of minor speed bumps into a flaming car crash. The sizable black speck was visibly darker than the surrounding brown, powdery and very bitter so I asked the waiter if my cake was a little burnt in as discreet and jovial a manner as possible. Instead of apologising or offering to replace the dish, the irate manager whom the waiter had consulted virtually bellowed condescendingly that it was obviously a marshmallow. I was taken aback, speechless and just shy of angry but didn’t want to cause a scene; letting it slide without a word. Outrage aside, if one was attempting to mimic the effect of marshmallows in s’mores; shouldn’t the candy be molten and gooey as opposed to burnt to a cinder?